"We are Conduits of Light here to Inspire Transformation" - Jemma
Lets face it. We are all Game changers.
At some point we have realized that there is more to this journey we call life than meets the eye.
Once we step onto our path it, it can often be very challenging and we wonder why the hell we signed up in the first place!!
But we have come for a reason. And we are all in this together.
Isn't that awesome?!
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To be the Conduits of Love and Light that inspire transformation and contribute to the happiness of all beings.
A couple of weeks ago I experineced one of the most significant days of my life.
It was an initiation.
You may or may not have read my last blog post I wrote about a week after I first arrived in Peru around 2 months ago. In it I was describing a very vivid, call it prophetic, dream I had where a being, a guardian actually, called Inti Punku turned up showing me very specific mountain flowers, ruins on a hill with a gigantic Glacial Apu behind it. He literally shouted his name at me and in that moment I knew I had been called.
Essentially his message was - 'how willing are you to release everything from your past that no longer serves you, so that you can step through my doorway and be liberated. When you find the courage to do this everything that you could ever wish for, and more, is waiting for you on the other side.'
There's more to this very vivid and incredible dream, maybe I'll re post it so you read it if you want too..
But for now, back to the present. Yesterday the day came for me to finally visit Inti Punku.
Inti in Quechua language (the ancient indigenous language of the Peruvian Andes) means Sun. Punku means gate or doorway. So Inti Punku is a Sun Gate.
He sits high above the living Inca town of Ollantaytambo in the Sacred Valley of Peru. Known to be one of the most important and significant places in the history of the Andean people. Very sacred. Very powerful.
Since my dream his doorway has appeared every single morning in my daily meditation. I see clearly the steps leading up to him and he shows me which step I have reached, moving steadily towards his doorway, as I deal with anything from the past that is no longer needed. Speaking my truth, cleaning up discordant energies, strengthening my capacity for acceptance and love.
So you can get the picture that this journey was always going to be big. Really big. But still I had no expectation and was very open to whatever would present itself, trusting I would receive exactly what I needed to receive.
And so the morning came. I woke up feeling nervous and excited all at once. I met my dear friends and we started the hike. Actually it's way more appropriate to call it a Pilgrimage.
As we walked over the Inca bridge at the back of the town Kev pointed to a towering ridge line that was literally reaching into the clouds and said 'that's where we are going!' I laughed thinking he was joking. 'Yeah right, I mumbled, that'll take us 3 days to get too!'
Well it WAS where we were going. I can't quite believe we actually made it! And up and back in a day!!! Skipping forward a minute, once we reached the top and looked back at the town below, we were absolutely gob smacked at the distance we had come. The towering Apu Pinkuylluna that guards Ollanta looked like a domino from those heights. In our hike we rose from 2700 meters altitude in the valley to nearly 4000. All virtually straight up, and all in 5 hours! Talk about good effort..
Anyways, back to the journey.. as we began I could already feel things starting to present themselves to be released. I felt a bit like I was getting a flu or a cold but I knew it was energetic. I trusted and kept walking quietly. After a couple of hours we sat by a spring and an ancient aqueduct coming out of the mountain to rest. In front of us towered the majestic glacial Apu Wakay Wilka - or Apu Veronica. Her Quechua name means Sacred Tears.
As I sat there with her in connection to her spirit, I felt her presence begin to fill me. In the Andes we believe that the mountains are beings with very real personalities and purposes. They are guardians, protectors, allies, kings, queens and chiefs. They are very powerful spirits that have stood guard and kept humanity in balance for eons and will continue to do so for eons more.
So this particular Apu - Veronica- is one of my 3 very strong personal guardians and a guiding Apu for me. She also comes to me every day and has taught and encouraged me to walk with the wisdom, strength, softness and grace of a queen. She has been by my side through some of the toughest experiences of my life and believe me I signed up for a lot of them. All have their purpose and I wouldn't be where or who I am now without them.
I was filled with immense gratitude for all of her gifts. For never abandoning me. For constantly reminding me of who I really am, especially as a woman.
I started to cry. Shedding the 'sacred tears' of her namesake. Not in sadness but in release and appreciation of this majestic queen robed in a glacial cloak of white. And I always say that a tear shed in release, appreciation or wisdom, is worth a thousand diamonds.
At this point I knew I was in for a magnificent ride. I asked to be liberated from anything holding me back. I asked to be recalibrated. And I asked for my connection to all of the Apu's and to my Sacred Shamanic path as a Medicine Woman, to be strengthened and taken to a whole new depth and level of pure authenticity, knowing, connection and humility.
I knew I was asking for something massive, and I got it.
So moving on we begun to climb the steepest part of the hike. My goodness at times it felt like it may never end. I needed to rest for a few minutes and so I sat on a rock, leaned back on my back pack and looked up at another huge Apu that we needed to pass to get to the gate.
As I connected to him I suddenly felt very nauseous, with a feeling of full on vertigo. That was when I heard him speak to me. 'You want connection?' He asked. Well then you have it. You can feel me. How do you arrive here?? Are you coming in respect? Are you full of ego thinking you can just come and conquer me or do you come with humility? What do you have to offer me? Where is your k'intu? (A k'intu is an offering of 3 perfect coca leaves, given in respect with prayers when you visit an Apu or anywhere sacred)
Essentially, the mountain kicked my butt. I asked for connection , I got it! Well and truly. I quickly made an offering, prayed into it in conversation with the Apu for maybe 10 minutes as I walked and when I found what felt like the right place, I left it for him. Nausea lifted, we were good to go..
Next stop was a a rock quarry and very old temple that was particularly ancient. The whole way up we encountered tombs and wak'as (alters). Unfortunately when the Spanish came they raided virtually every tomb (that were built by the way for enlightened masters that had given their lives in service of love) to steal the gold and artefacts. So, virtually all tombs have been opened. Apparently though there was one here that still contained a mummy.
As we sat to rest a while, Kev pointed out what looked like an unfinished wheel. The Inca didn't use wheels. They employed other mind blowing methods to move and carve the giant boulders for miles across the mountains. We speculated what this perfectly round stone shape could be. It also had a perfectly round half carved through hole, or more like a bowl, in the centre. Were they getting prepared to start using the wheel? Or something else..?
Often when I visit these sights I receive these crazy awesome and very fast cosmic downloads of what actually transpired in these places. It's like watching movie. When I went and put my hands on the wheel and my third eye near the hole in the centre, within seconds I saw very clearly that this was no wheel at all. I was shown it lying flat, totally flush on one of the big flat rocks or wak'as below. I saw a ring of men and women standing around it holding hands. It was night and they were all peering intently into the 'bowl' in the centre that was filled with water. The water was reflecting the stars. They were using it for two purposes. One was to measure the movement of the stars, to get information about what to do and when. When to plant, when to harvest. Practical stuff. Like a cosmic oracle and compass.
But then I saw them praying, invoking. This was a particular event and ceremony that happened only perhaps once in the year where a constellation - the Pleiades- lined up directly on top of the bowl and illuminated the water. Like a magnifying glass the water in the bowl reflected and amplified the starlight. The blue silver light completely illuminated the faces of the people and I could see them being filled or downloaded with light codes and Information abot how and what to do here during their time on planet earth.
These were priests and priestess. In equal balance - receiving important information from the stars - our divine origin - giving them a road map of what to do and filling them with the wisdom, energy, strength and light codes they needed to do it. They hadn't forgotten yet who they were or where they had come from. They were still in complete connection and communion with their origins and had devised a way to dial back into their source for clear guidance and inspiration.
This was no wheel at all. This was a practical yet simultaneously spiritual oracle for connection to the earth and to the cosmos all at once. It was a cosmic portal.
Things were getting interesting and so we continued.
I was carrying my Condor feathers in the side pocket of my back pack. Next to the Mapacho (Sacred black Amazonian tobacco) and Agua Florida (Andean flower water) and my Mesa (medicine bundle) these are by far my most potent, powerful and sacred of healing tools.
I heard Apu Veronica whisper to me - 'take your feathers and hold them up to me. I will speak to you through them.'
So I did.
The path was steep and I was beginning to feel the 'burn'. 'One step at a time' I kept encouraging myself.
Just then the feathers began to flutter. They sounded like the wings of a hummingbird or the vibration of a medicine drum. I have had this sound come deep into my ears for the last 15 years. Especially when I have been in need of support or guidance in my life. It took me many years to realise what I was hearing. Here it was again in the feathers.
Then a voice began to speak. Apu Veronica was speaking to me through the feathers.
She said ' Step by Step you are remembering the truth of who you really are'.
This became a mantra repeated over and over again. Step by step I was remembering the truth of who I really am.
The walking suddenly became effortless.
As we continued to walk I started to feel the presence of a woman who shows up for me in many of my journeys to these Sacred sights. She has been around me and through me many times but this time I had the overwhelming feeling of her actually becoming me. I said to Danni - 'oh Dan, its happening, she's coming again. I'm embodying someone else entirely different, yet I know she is me'
This woman has the most beautiful dark golden skin that has lustrous glow. Her hair is very long, straight, black as night and the ebony shines in the sunlight. Her perfect almond eyes are kind, wise, dark and endless, like the galactic void that holds all of the universes in them all at once. She wears a white tunic with gold trim and a black cord around her waist and leather sandles that tie up her calves. Upon her head a fine crown made of gold in a very simple but beautiful elegant design. She is young but ancient all at the same time. Ageless.
I said to her 'Who are you? What is your name?'
She replied , 'You mean what is YOUR which is, of course, unconditional love.
That is who I am. Who we all are.
How do I embody this? I asked. As we know it's not always easy to stay in unconditional love in these crazy times.
'You don't need to 'do' anything but to remember.' She said, you don't need to embody it. You simply BE it.'
This was the same message I received from Inti Punku when he first visited me and filled me with the kundalini like orgasmic energy that I could barely contain. He just kept saying to me ' don't watch it, don't even feel it, just BE it!'
This became a theme for the day.
So while I was about asking ancient priestess who they were I turned my attention to Apu Veronica. 'Maestra, your majesty. Would you be so kind as to tell me your name.?' My Maestro Puma had said the day before that until an Apu actually tells you their name, you don't really know them at all.
'Wak'a Wilka' she replies. 'I have been known as sacred tears (Wakay) but actually I am a sacred alter (wak'a) for the aspect of the divine feminine. Most of the Apu's are Masculine. I am the Apu for the high priestesses and for anyone who needs to embody the divine feminine qualities of grace and power, softness and strength, wisdom with direction, majesty, elegance and unconditional love.'
Just in this moment as I am writing this I have realised something very important. I knew her to be a priestess, but as I write this I am realising that Inkari Kuyay is the embodiment of Wak'a Wilka. Apu Veronica herself. Awakening to unconditional love.
As all of this began to drop in on a cellular level of remembering. We kept walking.
Then in the harsh, arid, rocky environment of the high altitude moutbains we came across a lush green grove. It reminded me of Avalon. It was a part of an ancient temple some of which was still standing in parts. It was lush, green and again amongst the very rugged mascunine surrounds was remarkably feminine. It offered Balance and respite.
The boys had raced ahead, as brothers excitedly do 😉, and Danni and I sat under the most incredible mythical look tree as hummingbirds danced around us gathering the sweet nectar from all of the flowers. Instantly I begun to recognise my dream.
There were intricately drawn mountain flowers in the pages of a book in my dream. I began to recognise the flowers surrounding us at once. I knew we were getting close Inti Punku.
As we passed through the gardens of 'Avalon' and moved through the temple walls we found ourselves at the final stretch of the path leading to the Sun Gate.
The whole way up aspects of my past had been presenting themselves to be finally liberated once and for all. For example my right leg was sooo tired. From foot to hip it ached. I realised my Masculine side had been well over worked. I have been calling on that aspect on myself to 'get focused and get through' continually over the last 16 years to the detriment of my feminine essence. Needless to say my divine Masculine was exhausted. What I need to do now moving forward is develop and embrace my feminine strength. Still solid and strong but with a depth of wisdom, grace and softness that only comes with the feminine. Of course this is the message of Wak'a Wilka.
More brief, but deep and profound realisations bubbled up to be forgiven and released. All was up for healing here. I was taking nothing down this mountain with me from the past. From here on I knew it had to be a clean slate.
Then suddenly, out of nowhere, the Wira (wind) literally pulled 2 feathers out of my tightly bound smudge fan and literally blew them of the edge of the mountain. Danni and I were shocked. How could that happen? The interesting thing was they weren't taken in the wind but they stopped about 20 meters down on the side of the mountain hovering in the grass.
For a moment I was considering the feathers an offering, when I realised that this was an opportunity to to heal a time I had found my self in fear of the mountains. Years ago with my then partner Chris, we had been hiking a mountain outside of Cusco. He was joyfully and easily teetering along the ridge line when I froze with fear not able to take another step. Even though I as safe I allowed the fear to over take me. So here I was presented with two choices. Let the feathers be taken and received as an offering or take up the mountain on his challenge to change the fear into confidence and trust and retrieve the feathers.
And so I scuttled down the mountain side. Inti Punku just above me, Apu Veronica beside me, Wira blowing wildly and pacha mama beneath my feet, supporting and guiding my every step, keeping me safe and supported. I put my trust in the Apu's and most importantly in my self and effortlessly retrieved my feathers.
A few steps further and there he was. Inti Punku. The Sun Gate. The steps leading up to his doorway so familiar. Like old comrades that had been cheering me along the way.
For an awe struck moment I didn't know what to do next. This was the moment I had been dreaming of every day for the past two months. For a lifetime in fact.
Then it came to me as clear as the crystal Condor himself.
'This is your initiation' I heard the words. 'You must be prepared now for this ultimate ceremony. There is no turning back. Look how far you have come. You are ready'.
With that I held my white ceremonial poncho out to the wind and she blew receiving the blessing of the spirit of Wira, the sun, the rising moon, the Apu's and pacha mama. It landed over my head and cloaked me in a similar fashion to Apu Wak'a Wilka. I received my Mesa from my back pack (yes I carried it all the way up and it weighs at least 5kg but in this moment it was light as a feather) and my Silver Medicine cup.
I held my Mesa at my Cosco (navel centre) and my cup at the my heart, empty and ready to be filled. My feathers in front of me ready to receive the ultimate baptism.
I placed my foot on the first step and suddenly my life began to flash before my eyes. As I rose step by step the visions came thick and fast. Everything I had experienced and that had challenged me so far in my life to get me to this point arose within me. The intensity of the vision had me stumble at one point but I kept going.
Finally I reached the top and stood at the thresh hold of the doorway. Preparing myself to walk through I look through the doorway and there were my brothers. The divine masculine, waiting to welcome me through.
I looked at them, Mesa, medicine cup and feathers hand and they fell silent, looking back at me, heads bowed, knowing that this was my moment. The love, support and reverence I felt from them was indescribable. I was filled with a mix of relief, appreciation and most of all Love. One last wave of grief washed over me as if that last torrent of Sacred tears were washing away the very last bits of what no longer remained.
I stepped into the doorway and with the gift of my essence through my breath, becoming one with the wind, with Inti Punku and with Maestra Veronica, I stepped through.
As my feet hit the ground on the other side of the doorway I became filled with a feeling of power and strength. I felt unshakeable and all knowing, at the same time remaining in this soft sense of grace and humility. I lifted my gaze to see the peak of her glacial robe. The sun illuminating her crystalline being. Her purity reflecting my original innocence.
Step by step I had remembered the truth of who I really am.
She said to me - ' I am asking this of you in service to me. I am asking that you take my essence into the world in Ceremony. Help others to also awaken to the truth of who they really are. I don't want you to invoke me or even to embody me. I need you to BE me. This is the authenticity and connection you have been asking for. You have my permission. In fact, I ask this of you.'
I remembered something that always comes to me in Ceremony. We are all so busy trying to save our planet, our pacha mama.
But pacha mama doesn't need saving. She could take us out in a second if she wanted too. She only needs us to wake up and remember the truth of who we really are. Then the rest will take care of itself.
It dawned on me then, on all of this that this Inti Punku is not only a Sun Gate. He is he Alter to Maestra Wak'a Wilka. Apu Veronica.
I want to say a deep and sincere thankyou to every being that has played a part in my life so far. To those gay have loved me and especially to those that have challenged me as you have really been the ones to help me remember most.
To my brother Kev who has been one of my most important teachers and guides. To my Maestro Puma and my brothers and teachers Percy and Alfredo. To my beloved Chris, whether we are together or not you have really called on me in ways you don't even realise to step up and step onto this path in full being as Medicine Woman.
In fact I realised that my greatest teachers of the divine feminine have been of the divine mascunine. They've pushed me, sometimes uncomfortably, me into embodying my strength, grace, wisdom and power. They've forced me to rise in ways sometimes neither of us were conscious of. On a soul level though, we all know exactly what's going on..
And to my sisters that walk by my side. Powerful Maestra's that are also rising into their finest and most powerful magnificent selves. Also awakening to their Magic, power, wisdom, softness, strength and grace. I love you.
So how did I feel the next day after such a wonderfully huge process? Physically exhausted, sore, sensitive and like I have been shaken and stirred into a whole new way of being. I can feel deep and lasting cellular changes occurring, recalibration is going bananas and while it's not all that comfortable I am in such deep awe and appreciation. I feel blessed beyond the description of any words. Such a sense of completion and at the same time the excitement of these new beginngs. I can't believe I actually made it. Yeah I did ☺️
While I don't know what lies ahead, I do know it's more potent, aligned, joyful, easy, abundant and effortlessly fulfilling than I've ever experienced before. I know there will be time of challenge and times of great excitement and elation. But I can feel the struggle is over. Because I have chosen for it to be.
I found the courage to walk through that doorway, to meet my Maestra - to meet myself. And I know that it's impossible for me to ever be the same again. There is no turning back.
As Intu Punku said, if I was willing to completely release every single thing from my past that no longer serves me, all I could ever have wished for and more is waiting for me, now that I have reached the other side.
Thankyou to all the beings that have offered themselves in love for me.
I love you.
Sacred World Traveller, Cacao Priestess, Medicine Woman and Founder/Creator of the Inspirational Raw Vegan food business Naked Treaties - Jemma has a rich and colourful history that has helped forge a light yet insightful wisdom of her life's experiences. She hopes to inspire others on their journey as she shares the triumphs and tribulations of her own. Alway's bringing it back to a place of empowerment and self realisation.